Girls got balls

My trainer/female magnet/Fashion Expert/Serena Williams obsessor/Body Builder/NFL star/Friend and I had the most amazing conversation I think of my life.
He was just in Vegas and made the astounding discovery every girl knows they once, still, or sometimes do!

And here goes my version of his opinion.....

So ladies. So you have a plan right, for Saturday night. You have to get something new, a new dress, shoe, lipstick....Who notices......other girls.

So we go out, get all dolled u, spend 25 hours thinking about what were wearing, ask our friends what they're wearing, take a shower with enough time for our hair to air dry just a little before we dry and Flat Iron, or Wand....for who? Other girls.

we do all our makeup and try to look "natural" all the while putting too much on, hoping the girls will say, "Oh your makeup looks so pretty," no guy is gonna look at you and say "Oh, she did a really good job of putting just enough makeup on to look natural." Or, "wow, her cheek color looks like she has been sunkissed." We makeup our faces for who to notice...other girls.

. Ok, so the hair is dried and the makeup is done. For who?

We already have the idea in our head of what were wearing. It has to show some skin, either the cleavage, stomach, legs, or back...that's what we think is sexy. Because one of our friends, or frenemies, will notice how good you look, hopefully...want to get that dress, wish they had that Chanel clutch, or is jealous of the long hair.

Then we forcefully shove our feet into 4" heels that have color, bling, or the perfect red bottom....we basically cannot move in, so we look longer and more stylish because of our shoes. Because taller and better shoes obviously makes you noticed....by other girls.

We get to the club, cant move in our dress, or shoes. Cant move cause our makeup will smear. Cant get near crazy dancing people cause our hair might frizz if they spill a beer...

And all the while, No guy will ever notice the difference between Steve Madden and Christian Loubiuton (well unless you have asked for a pair or hinted you love them!). No guy will ever look at your hair and say, It's so straight, and the flat iron really makes it shiny. No guy will ever say he could picture you meeting his mom in the slutty outfit from Saturday night (he could introduce you to his bed though). No guy will EVER notice the price of your handbag.

The point: Girls got balls. Girls do it for other Girls.

Do You?

...still read my blog? Does anybody read my blog?

I'm not Your Daddy

Ever seen a better imitation of a Geico Commercial...It's the Remix..

That's not NOrmal

Some things to share about my School Year thus far....

1. Kid writes :CHICKEN: on her bookbag in whiteout. Her reason: bc she likes chicken.

2. Kids having no idea who Bob Marley is.

3. Rumor has it kids are selling birth control in the cafeteria...really, really.

4. Ass dialing some of my old kids parents on a Sat night. Awesome.

5. A kid coming up to me asking for Perfume. There's only 1 reason for that. Ew.

6. No Homo

7. Break Bread

8. A 6th principal

9. Being Gay is the new Way

10. Like mean girls, there is a webpage with "Tweek of the Week."" Tweek= whore.

Paid

The medicine profiles the line.

Always look behind you...

Let me update you on my very eventful week...

So I'm in the locker room at the gym changing, when a super-obnoxious woman (lady 1) starts yelling at lady 2 because she is "dripping" from the pool. She pretty much bitches at her for a good 5 minutes complaining that she doesn't want her nasty drips fro the pool near her. So I go upstairs to meet my trainer, and of course tell him the locker room drama. Lady #1 then comes over to my trainer and I while working out and asks me If I agreed with her that it was disgusting. When we proceeded to tell lady 1 that you do drip when getting out of a pool is normal, she decided to come over to me, while my head was behind her, and spill out her drink at my feet, and say.." I guess you won't mind tripping on this." She's now kicked out of the gym.


Then we get to work. Im at school, and I see a girl fight start brewing. I hold back on of the girls, first by the hand, then the body. At this point the other chick is coming at her, so I try and pull her away. I had to make a quick decision either let go of the girl, or my pants. I took the latter. Couldn't let the kids see my draws. Well, in an effort to stop it and keep holding on, I turned around...and got punched and slapped and scratched. My first fight ever.

To top it off, I caught the bouquet at my girl's wedding this weekend, and her brother who is Napolean Dynamite's twin..caught the garter. It was like Deb and Napolean reunited.

what Sound do you hear?

Please look at what a HAM my nephew is!