That's not NOrmal

Some things to share about my School Year thus far....

1. Kid writes :CHICKEN: on her bookbag in whiteout. Her reason: bc she likes chicken.

2. Kids having no idea who Bob Marley is.

3. Rumor has it kids are selling birth control in the cafeteria...really, really.

4. Ass dialing some of my old kids parents on a Sat night. Awesome.

5. A kid coming up to me asking for Perfume. There's only 1 reason for that. Ew.

6. No Homo

7. Break Bread

8. A 6th principal

9. Being Gay is the new Way

10. Like mean girls, there is a webpage with "Tweek of the Week."" Tweek= whore.

Paid

The medicine profiles the line.

Always look behind you...

Let me update you on my very eventful week...

So I'm in the locker room at the gym changing, when a super-obnoxious woman (lady 1) starts yelling at lady 2 because she is "dripping" from the pool. She pretty much bitches at her for a good 5 minutes complaining that she doesn't want her nasty drips fro the pool near her. So I go upstairs to meet my trainer, and of course tell him the locker room drama. Lady #1 then comes over to my trainer and I while working out and asks me If I agreed with her that it was disgusting. When we proceeded to tell lady 1 that you do drip when getting out of a pool is normal, she decided to come over to me, while my head was behind her, and spill out her drink at my feet, and say.." I guess you won't mind tripping on this." She's now kicked out of the gym.


Then we get to work. Im at school, and I see a girl fight start brewing. I hold back on of the girls, first by the hand, then the body. At this point the other chick is coming at her, so I try and pull her away. I had to make a quick decision either let go of the girl, or my pants. I took the latter. Couldn't let the kids see my draws. Well, in an effort to stop it and keep holding on, I turned around...and got punched and slapped and scratched. My first fight ever.

To top it off, I caught the bouquet at my girl's wedding this weekend, and her brother who is Napolean Dynamite's twin..caught the garter. It was like Deb and Napolean reunited.

what Sound do you hear?

Please look at what a HAM my nephew is!

I Like The Bartender

This is what happens when your friend has an Iphone, and a party...

http://iamtpain.smule.com/trackid/565552

Downtown Fun

Today was quite the day... Sunday Funday. It was breakfast on a roofdeck with good company, followed by a leisurely stroll to South Street. The sun done brought the freaks out. Then back to a friends apt. for some Sushi that the chef's had to go to Japan to kill the fish. What a great day with good friends and good fun!

Buy me A Drink...

This is the Remix

I'm obsessed. Sa Pase.

He is Delicious...

Those cheeks.....

Big News...

I have a boyfriend....Hey Boyfriend!

Long Overdue...

2 weekends ago I went back to the holy Land, New York City. Center of the Universe. (ok, slight RENT song popped in.)

Anyway, everytime I get into the City I get into my "I used to live here" mode. I frequent my usual spots I used to go to all the time, and I get so nostalgic of 17 H, Plaza East. I love walking around and spending time doing nothing! I spent time with my brother, and admired his digs and ridiculous artwork. Then off to Soho and the Village to visit friends. I was only there for a night, and had a party, but tried to do as many pop'in's as possible. I decided, if I lived there now I would live on 10th and 4th (West Village) and never again go to the meatpacking to go out. It was cool when I was 22. Not so much now.

Man do I miss living there :-(.

I Can't Help It...

I know I keep talking about my job, but...it could possibly be a TV Show.

I forgot how much fun snowdays are. Now that I work for the School District, I get more excited about school being closed than I did when I was actually in school.

So at school I do the morning announcements over the loud speaker, and last week I decided to sing the Pledge of Allegiance. It was pretty amazing. I made my own jig.

Work just gets crazier and crazier. Here are some of the highlites this week...

1. One student reached into his pocket and asked if I wanted to see the monster...(naturally my head went somewhere else)...he reaches in further, takes out a mirror, and puts it infront of my face. Like, I'm the monster. Awesome.

2. I hung up a sign in my office that reads "Do not come in without a pass". Obviously it has now been tagged to read "Do come in without a pass".

3. We are having a Valentine's Dance on Friday. So far I've been asked by 4 kids. Why wasn't I asked 4 times when I was in school. No thanks, 13 year olds.

4. And Finally, I spray tanned last night and EVERY single kid asked me if "I got a tan". Like, what exactly are you asking? Confused. Until someone called me an Umpaloompa. Awesome, again.

Gaper...I mean Grapes...I mean Gripes...

I'm going crazy. So the principal at my school is "out", and we have a retired substitute principal. This lady is making me loose my hair..and if you know me you know that is THE sole importance in life...hair. Let's start with the micromanaging. Yes, I did go to the bathroom and I am sure I flushed the toilet. Then we get to the yard stick with red paper attached trying to symbolize to 8th graders, to stop talking...Yes, 8th graders. This lady walks down the hallways in her slacks and sneakers, delegating and interrupting. She's like a bad cough that just won't go away.

Next, welle get to a sad sad moment I had tonight. My favorite Mexican BYO, where I frequent often....as they were closing, I noticed a pot of leftover refriend beans, uncovered, dried up, and sitting on the stove. You bet your bottom dollar someone will be eating those tommorow night for dinner.

I hate it when I get all dressed up, ready to go out, and the night turns into a buzzkill. And I don't mean your friend with bad breath close talking...I mean a bar you loved was closed, or you get oil from your chicken fajitas all over your shirt.

I decided I am getting a little cold, so I decided to come home and douse myself in vitamins. And twizzlers NIBS.

And lastly, if you are a delivery person at Marathon Grill and do not know how to get to

15th and locust, you should probably quit. Thanks.